Monday, February 9, 2015

Deadite Joe's Chat of the Week # 1

Each week, I'll enter a chat room & find an unsuspecting victim to mess with. Here's what I did on 2/9/2015.

Good_morning123: hello how are u doing,, do u care to chat?
Me: I'm 87 years old, my eye sight is bad & I have a goiter on my nuts. You think I want to chat about that?
Me: I think my kidneys fell out last night, but I'm scared to look.
Good_morning123: ok
Good_morning123: what are u looking for?
Me: My kidneys!
Good_morning123: what do u mean?
Me: I mean you should look for my kidneys, dummy! If I bend over, I herniate a disk!
Good_morning123: oh ok
Good_morning123: where do u leave?
Me: I live in a nursing home because my shit-for-brains daughter hates me. But I have free wi-fi!
Good_morning123: oh ok
Good_morning123: do u work?
Me: Yeah, I work at getting onto the bed pan before I shit myself.
Good_morning123: ok
Good_morning123: what work?
Me: I used to sell fish at the pier as a young boy before WW2.
Me: Since I moved into the nursing home, I work at trying to stay on the planet just one more day.
Good_morning123: ok
Good_morning123: am in ghana
Me: The lads used to call me "Fishfingers". Do they call you that now?
Good_morning123: do u care about distance?
Me: I have dia-ghana in my sack.
Me: Yes, I car about distance! It's a helluva long way to the bathroom!
Good_morning123: what do u mean?
Me: I fought during the war in Ghana.
Good_morning123: really
Me: It was 1946. I was young & she was cheap.
Good_morning123: am also looking for caring and honest man to spend the rest of my life with him for now and forever
Me: At 87, I can certainly guarantee that I can spend my entire life with you.
Good_morning123: ok
Me: Hang on a minute, the nurse is here to apply that salve to my sack. She's mean & slaps them around when she does it.
Good_morning123: ok
Me: Hey, I gotta go. Nurse Rachett here insists that I get off line now. Goodbye. I hope I wasn't your grand dad.

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